Just to let you know, Gary goes to the doctor tomorrow morning. So I will be able to update you after that! Gary also wants me to say a few words on his behalf, and I will honor that in the next update as well.
Thank you again for your prayers; we are encouraged by them daily. We love you.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
It Is What It Is
It seems like every time I tell you things are getting better.....
I hope none of you mind, but I think I may not be posting as much in the near future. Dad's condition is NEVER the same each day, and sometimes it changes several times each day! So I would have to update daily to let you know exactly how he is feeling.
We thought he had turned the corner after his last hospital stay, but that is not the case. He woke up yesterday hurting a little in his legs, but he thought it was just the change from his "movement-less" life to exercising several times a day. But when he woke up today, the pain was worse, and he says it is a "different pain". He knows his body well, so we don't doubt his word.
Pain is usually the first symptom of cancer for my dad, so we could be facing another journey. He is scheduled to have a CT and bone scan tomorrow (maybe not both on the same day, but there is at least one scheduled), but he may not be able to endure it with this leg pain.
We don't know anything, and we have learned not to jump to conclusions. But I think I am correct when I say if the cancer has already returned, Mom and Dad may make some different decisions this time. Pray for wisdom on their part and pray that God is CLEAR as to what they are to do.
I have no more encouraging words for myself or for you in this post. As my father says "It is what it is". It is not that I have given up; we are all clinging to the promises our Father has given us. We KNOW God is in charge, and He is holding my father close through all of this. But maybe I am a bit wiser or just a bit less emotional-I am reserving my feelings for when we know something more.
I also have no requests to make, other than to just remember Gary and Hope in your prayers. They feel peace when you pray, and that is all we can hope for now. That is eternal, and praise God for it.
I hope none of you mind, but I think I may not be posting as much in the near future. Dad's condition is NEVER the same each day, and sometimes it changes several times each day! So I would have to update daily to let you know exactly how he is feeling.
We thought he had turned the corner after his last hospital stay, but that is not the case. He woke up yesterday hurting a little in his legs, but he thought it was just the change from his "movement-less" life to exercising several times a day. But when he woke up today, the pain was worse, and he says it is a "different pain". He knows his body well, so we don't doubt his word.
Pain is usually the first symptom of cancer for my dad, so we could be facing another journey. He is scheduled to have a CT and bone scan tomorrow (maybe not both on the same day, but there is at least one scheduled), but he may not be able to endure it with this leg pain.
We don't know anything, and we have learned not to jump to conclusions. But I think I am correct when I say if the cancer has already returned, Mom and Dad may make some different decisions this time. Pray for wisdom on their part and pray that God is CLEAR as to what they are to do.
I have no more encouraging words for myself or for you in this post. As my father says "It is what it is". It is not that I have given up; we are all clinging to the promises our Father has given us. We KNOW God is in charge, and He is holding my father close through all of this. But maybe I am a bit wiser or just a bit less emotional-I am reserving my feelings for when we know something more.
I also have no requests to make, other than to just remember Gary and Hope in your prayers. They feel peace when you pray, and that is all we can hope for now. That is eternal, and praise God for it.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
WHY?
Gary was finally released from the hospital today! We are so excited to have him home. And the results from the ultrasound showed there was NO clot. To us this is good news, because that means the filter is working and clots are not forming elsewhere in his body.
Gary is still VERY tired, since his hemoglobin is still low even after the transfusion. But that will continue to be the case while he takes chemo. But this week helped Gary to see that he will have to start working very hard to heal and improve. A physical therapist worked with him while he was in the hospital and reminded him that he has to exert energy to gain energy and muscle so that he can feel better.
Since returning home today Gary has started some exercises to get the blood moving and muscles working again. He is trying to walk around the house more and just essentially move! He is already sore, but I reminded him that we all are when we first begin-it takes time to build up the stamina and muscle again, especially in the situation he is presently in.
Your prayers are helping, and we daily praise God for all of you who take time from your busy days to take my father before the throne. What a blessing to know Gary is loved that much! God is good, even when we doubt his actions. And we praise Him that He puts up with us when we question those actions! But that is what creates more faith and trust-when we ask why and then just rely on His power and knowledge. He will bring comfort and peace even if we never know the why.
May He forever be glorified, especially when we don't know the "WHY".
Gary is still VERY tired, since his hemoglobin is still low even after the transfusion. But that will continue to be the case while he takes chemo. But this week helped Gary to see that he will have to start working very hard to heal and improve. A physical therapist worked with him while he was in the hospital and reminded him that he has to exert energy to gain energy and muscle so that he can feel better.
Since returning home today Gary has started some exercises to get the blood moving and muscles working again. He is trying to walk around the house more and just essentially move! He is already sore, but I reminded him that we all are when we first begin-it takes time to build up the stamina and muscle again, especially in the situation he is presently in.
Your prayers are helping, and we daily praise God for all of you who take time from your busy days to take my father before the throne. What a blessing to know Gary is loved that much! God is good, even when we doubt his actions. And we praise Him that He puts up with us when we question those actions! But that is what creates more faith and trust-when we ask why and then just rely on His power and knowledge. He will bring comfort and peace even if we never know the why.
May He forever be glorified, especially when we don't know the "WHY".
Friday, October 19, 2007
Newest Changes
Just a quick note to let you know that Gary is still in the hospital. He had a transfusion last night, and we hoped he would be released today.
New complications arose last night and early this morning. His left shoulder began to hurt immensely more than before, and his legs have started hurting as well. The doctor believes there may a clot in his left arm, and that is what is causing the pain. He will be having an ultrasound sometime today. The leg pain we attribute to the lack of activity.
Regardless, Gary is struggling with breathing again, and if he has a clot, that would be a normal side effect. If there is no clot, the difficulty breathing may just be a "resolve of cancer". We just don't know.
Pray for a quick and astute diagnosis. Gary would like to come home, but we won't be doing that until we ascertain what the issue is. Pray for peace and comfort for him and for us, his family. As we have always prayed and believed, Gary is in the Lord's hands, and we want Him to do what He sees fit.
We love you and may God be praised in all we say and do.
New complications arose last night and early this morning. His left shoulder began to hurt immensely more than before, and his legs have started hurting as well. The doctor believes there may a clot in his left arm, and that is what is causing the pain. He will be having an ultrasound sometime today. The leg pain we attribute to the lack of activity.
Regardless, Gary is struggling with breathing again, and if he has a clot, that would be a normal side effect. If there is no clot, the difficulty breathing may just be a "resolve of cancer". We just don't know.
Pray for a quick and astute diagnosis. Gary would like to come home, but we won't be doing that until we ascertain what the issue is. Pray for peace and comfort for him and for us, his family. As we have always prayed and believed, Gary is in the Lord's hands, and we want Him to do what He sees fit.
We love you and may God be praised in all we say and do.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Some Minor Changes
Well, Gary spent one night in the hospital, and nothing has really changed. His coughing fits have subsided some, and that is the best news. The breathing treatments he has been having every four hours seem to help the spasms (which result in the coughing).
We also just found out that Gary's hemoglobin is low, and he needs a blood transfusion. Please pray that this helps him to feel better. Lately he has been feeling BLAH, for lack of a better word. The anemia is keeping him from feeling better, which seems to send him on this endless cycle we have been on the past 6 months-he seems to do better, we get good news, and then he gets sick again with another complication.
Pray for the cycle to end! It is taking its toll on all of us, not just Dad. We know Dad is the one who fighting the most, but we are all tired at this point. We hate sitting and just watching-we can do nothing to physically help him. And those who have endured this know what I mean when I say the praying is even hard to do at times. God just doesn't seem to be saying yes to our pleas for healing. It seems God is choosing for us to just remain where we are at, not making any progress for Dad. And that is so hard to deal with after a time.
To all of you who have gone on this journey with us in spirit and in prayer, I feel we can be honest about this. Knowing what to pray for is half the battle! So please pray for comfort for those of us who are caring for him, especially Hope. We are all feeling defeated that Gary is not at least a little better. And pray this transfusion is just what he needs to improve. Thank you so much for being faithful in this battle.
We also just found out that Gary's hemoglobin is low, and he needs a blood transfusion. Please pray that this helps him to feel better. Lately he has been feeling BLAH, for lack of a better word. The anemia is keeping him from feeling better, which seems to send him on this endless cycle we have been on the past 6 months-he seems to do better, we get good news, and then he gets sick again with another complication.
Pray for the cycle to end! It is taking its toll on all of us, not just Dad. We know Dad is the one who fighting the most, but we are all tired at this point. We hate sitting and just watching-we can do nothing to physically help him. And those who have endured this know what I mean when I say the praying is even hard to do at times. God just doesn't seem to be saying yes to our pleas for healing. It seems God is choosing for us to just remain where we are at, not making any progress for Dad. And that is so hard to deal with after a time.
To all of you who have gone on this journey with us in spirit and in prayer, I feel we can be honest about this. Knowing what to pray for is half the battle! So please pray for comfort for those of us who are caring for him, especially Hope. We are all feeling defeated that Gary is not at least a little better. And pray this transfusion is just what he needs to improve. Thank you so much for being faithful in this battle.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Another Battle
Well just when I thought I would not be posting as much simply because Dad was doing okay.....
Gary is back in the hospital this morning. Mom took him around 4:00AM because he was struggling with his breathing. It appears to be bronchial spasms; there may be more, but some tests haven't been ordered while we are waiting on results from others. He is being admitted, and we are not sure how long he will stay this time.
From what we understand the cancer SHOULD be gone. The radiation did its job and took away the tumors in the back and shoulder. The pain in his hips has diminished as well as in his back and shoulder. So it seems the treatment is almost worse than the disease now. He is really struggling to heal, since his immune system is almost completely shut down due to the radiation and chemotherapy. The anemia is not helping him either.
I believe I speak correctly when I say that my father is just ready-ready to either feel better or for the Lord to take him home. He is restless with sitting all day, but he does not have the energy to attempt to do anything more. He knows the Lord has brought him this far but he, like the rest of us, are not sure why He has brought him to this point to live like this.
So I ask this from those of you who are praying for Gary-pray for a CLEAR picture of the work God has left for him on this side of heaven. The Lord would not leave Gary here to do more Kingdom work and not give him the strength to do so, at least that is our viewpoint. So God must have something for him to do, even when he is this weak. Can you pray for God to reveal that to him and to my mother? We feel Gary needs his purpose, his drive, his motivation back for fighting this disease and all the effects of it. He is just existing right now, and that hurts all of us who love him to see that when we know he is so much more.
I know God still says this of my father:
God has used Gary for extraordinary things in His name-I know Dad can continue that, even now. May God be glorified by His servant even in the midst of this battle.
Gary is back in the hospital this morning. Mom took him around 4:00AM because he was struggling with his breathing. It appears to be bronchial spasms; there may be more, but some tests haven't been ordered while we are waiting on results from others. He is being admitted, and we are not sure how long he will stay this time.
From what we understand the cancer SHOULD be gone. The radiation did its job and took away the tumors in the back and shoulder. The pain in his hips has diminished as well as in his back and shoulder. So it seems the treatment is almost worse than the disease now. He is really struggling to heal, since his immune system is almost completely shut down due to the radiation and chemotherapy. The anemia is not helping him either.
I believe I speak correctly when I say that my father is just ready-ready to either feel better or for the Lord to take him home. He is restless with sitting all day, but he does not have the energy to attempt to do anything more. He knows the Lord has brought him this far but he, like the rest of us, are not sure why He has brought him to this point to live like this.
So I ask this from those of you who are praying for Gary-pray for a CLEAR picture of the work God has left for him on this side of heaven. The Lord would not leave Gary here to do more Kingdom work and not give him the strength to do so, at least that is our viewpoint. So God must have something for him to do, even when he is this weak. Can you pray for God to reveal that to him and to my mother? We feel Gary needs his purpose, his drive, his motivation back for fighting this disease and all the effects of it. He is just existing right now, and that hurts all of us who love him to see that when we know he is so much more.
I know God still says this of my father:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
God has used Gary for extraordinary things in His name-I know Dad can continue that, even now. May God be glorified by His servant even in the midst of this battle.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Day by Day
Every day seems to be different. We cry over defeats, no matter how small. And we celebrate over victories, no matter how small. These past two days we have celebrated over several small victories.
Gary's doctor appointment on Wednesday was a small victory, for we received NO bad news! He is anemic, but he is now taking shots to help boost his red cell count. His chest X-ray was clear, his blood oxygen level was 100%, and the doctor is not overly concerned about the spot on his hip that is causing him pain. He believes it to simply be a bedsore from Gary's sedentary life style. But Dr. Davidson has scheduled a CT scan and a bone scan in two weeks, just to check.
Another small victory was last night and today-Gary slept well and he woke up feeling better than he has felt in a week. His nausea is gone, and he was actually hungry for the first time in days! He is still feeling tired, but that is from the anemia.
And the last small victory we celebrate is that Gary only has TWO more treatments of chemotherapy! And prayerfully we will be done for good! We thought the chemotherapy would continue until Christmas, so we were thrilled to hear he only had two more.
God continues to be good, in the victories as well as the defeats. But it sure is easier to praise and thank Him for the good! We are grateful to Him that He has given us some good things these past few days, no matter how trivial they appear to be. We know God is still in His will and plan for Gary, and we continue to hold on to that.
May He forever and ever be glorified for the victories and the defeats-for in both we can see His all powerful hand. Blessed be His Name always.
Gary's doctor appointment on Wednesday was a small victory, for we received NO bad news! He is anemic, but he is now taking shots to help boost his red cell count. His chest X-ray was clear, his blood oxygen level was 100%, and the doctor is not overly concerned about the spot on his hip that is causing him pain. He believes it to simply be a bedsore from Gary's sedentary life style. But Dr. Davidson has scheduled a CT scan and a bone scan in two weeks, just to check.
Another small victory was last night and today-Gary slept well and he woke up feeling better than he has felt in a week. His nausea is gone, and he was actually hungry for the first time in days! He is still feeling tired, but that is from the anemia.
And the last small victory we celebrate is that Gary only has TWO more treatments of chemotherapy! And prayerfully we will be done for good! We thought the chemotherapy would continue until Christmas, so we were thrilled to hear he only had two more.
God continues to be good, in the victories as well as the defeats. But it sure is easier to praise and thank Him for the good! We are grateful to Him that He has given us some good things these past few days, no matter how trivial they appear to be. We know God is still in His will and plan for Gary, and we continue to hold on to that.
May He forever and ever be glorified for the victories and the defeats-for in both we can see His all powerful hand. Blessed be His Name always.
Monday, October 8, 2007
New Pain
Gary is no longer throwing up, but he is in pain again, this time in his hip. Please pray fervently right now that it is not cancer. We won't know anything for at least a week.
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Still Having Ups and Downs
Well, we thought it would be smooth sailing now that the radiation is done. How quickly our minds can change!
Gary's pain is much better; he just "complains" of stiffness now. But that is truly a praise-he is so thankful that the pain is almost gone. However, we had no idea Gary would be sick all weekend with nausea and throwing up. He began to feel "wormy" (as my mother calls it) Thursday afternoon, and it got worse until Saturday morning. He seems to be doing better this morning, but we are holding our breath.
We have talked with some who have endured radiation therapy to see if they had similar effects; it seems this is the "norm" for cancer patients. As the amount of radiation in his body increases, so does the inability to eat and keep the food down.
This newest symptom is not helping Gary to heal; he desperately needs strength, and the lack of food causes him severe fatigue. Please pray for immediate relief from this. As he says everyday, he just wants to begin living again. He is looking forward to returning to WLBF and "making a difference" again. I keep telling him he is making a difference every day that he chooses to fight and gives God the credit for everything that has happened.
If you feel led this week, please send Gary and/or Hope a note, letting them know how much they are appreciated and what they have done to help you in your life. God tells us to encourage each other daily, and both Gary and Hope need that desperately right now. Both are working so hard to follow what God requires of them, even though this road is very difficult right now. It is always a blessing to know their efforts are noticed.
We, as always, praise God for His mountain of blessings. May He be glorified forever and ever for His wondrous ways.
Gary's pain is much better; he just "complains" of stiffness now. But that is truly a praise-he is so thankful that the pain is almost gone. However, we had no idea Gary would be sick all weekend with nausea and throwing up. He began to feel "wormy" (as my mother calls it) Thursday afternoon, and it got worse until Saturday morning. He seems to be doing better this morning, but we are holding our breath.
We have talked with some who have endured radiation therapy to see if they had similar effects; it seems this is the "norm" for cancer patients. As the amount of radiation in his body increases, so does the inability to eat and keep the food down.
This newest symptom is not helping Gary to heal; he desperately needs strength, and the lack of food causes him severe fatigue. Please pray for immediate relief from this. As he says everyday, he just wants to begin living again. He is looking forward to returning to WLBF and "making a difference" again. I keep telling him he is making a difference every day that he chooses to fight and gives God the credit for everything that has happened.
If you feel led this week, please send Gary and/or Hope a note, letting them know how much they are appreciated and what they have done to help you in your life. God tells us to encourage each other daily, and both Gary and Hope need that desperately right now. Both are working so hard to follow what God requires of them, even though this road is very difficult right now. It is always a blessing to know their efforts are noticed.
We, as always, praise God for His mountain of blessings. May He be glorified forever and ever for His wondrous ways.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Praise God For His "Mighty Miracles"
Forgive me for not posting earlier on how my father is doing this week! We have been attempting to potty train our 2 1/2 year old son! What a job!
What a mighty God we serve, for He has taken away my father's pain again! The radiation is taking effect, and the pain is dwindling more every day.
Thursday is Gary's last day of radiation. We should know next week if the cancer is gone completely. When we talked about this earlier, I told my dad- "Let's hope this keeps the cancer at bay for a while!" My dad quickly responded: "A while? How about for good?!" There's the old Gary, back after being away with all the pain he has been enduring this past month. His hope was always there, but the pain kept him from speaking of it too often. I praise God my father is back and ready to start living again!
As we have stated numerous times and, because of recent history, we cannot say definitively that this radiation therapy is a "success" and he is healed completely. But isn't that what faith is about-trusting even when you can't definitively know?
So that is what we hold on to-the faith that our God is a mighty God who performs mighty miracles! For we sing today as we have done throughout this journey:
Praise to the One who saves us and makes us saints, so we can worship and adore Him!
What a mighty God we serve, for He has taken away my father's pain again! The radiation is taking effect, and the pain is dwindling more every day.
Thursday is Gary's last day of radiation. We should know next week if the cancer is gone completely. When we talked about this earlier, I told my dad- "Let's hope this keeps the cancer at bay for a while!" My dad quickly responded: "A while? How about for good?!" There's the old Gary, back after being away with all the pain he has been enduring this past month. His hope was always there, but the pain kept him from speaking of it too often. I praise God my father is back and ready to start living again!
As we have stated numerous times and, because of recent history, we cannot say definitively that this radiation therapy is a "success" and he is healed completely. But isn't that what faith is about-trusting even when you can't definitively know?
So that is what we hold on to-the faith that our God is a mighty God who performs mighty miracles! For we sing today as we have done throughout this journey:
The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.
Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous:
"The Lord's right hand has done mighty things!
The Lord's right hand is lifted high;
The Lord's right hand has done mighty things!"
Praise to the One who saves us and makes us saints, so we can worship and adore Him!
Monday, October 1, 2007
One More Week
Gary has one more week of radiation, and the Dr. tells us that it has been going very well. The radiation is doing exactly what it is supposed to do-shrinking those tumors. Dr. Franklin told Gary he should begin to feel certain relief this week.
I must say that I have never been more proud of my father's bravery and courage. This past year and a half as he has dealt with cancer has been filled with fear, uncertainty and physical as well as emotional and even spiritual pain. But my father has faced all of this head-on, with such a peace that all will be okay. I have never heard him say he was afraid to face anything that came his way. He always told us it would be okay, that He knows who is in control.
This most recent attack of cancer has brought the most significant physical pain, and none of us can imagine what Gary is going through each day. My mother and I have said we could not have survived what Gary has endured these past two months. When I tell my father that, he simply says- "It is what it is. This too shall pass!" What confidence!
My parents are amazing; they have taught my sister and I to be the women we are today. We praise God He allowed us to be raised in such a godly and loving home. And they have led us by example all of our lives. But I must say I have learned more from my father these past months about courage and trust than I did all my growing up years. He has lived Scripture like:
and
and
I must say that I have never been more proud of my father's bravery and courage. This past year and a half as he has dealt with cancer has been filled with fear, uncertainty and physical as well as emotional and even spiritual pain. But my father has faced all of this head-on, with such a peace that all will be okay. I have never heard him say he was afraid to face anything that came his way. He always told us it would be okay, that He knows who is in control.
This most recent attack of cancer has brought the most significant physical pain, and none of us can imagine what Gary is going through each day. My mother and I have said we could not have survived what Gary has endured these past two months. When I tell my father that, he simply says- "It is what it is. This too shall pass!" What confidence!
My parents are amazing; they have taught my sister and I to be the women we are today. We praise God He allowed us to be raised in such a godly and loving home. And they have led us by example all of our lives. But I must say I have learned more from my father these past months about courage and trust than I did all my growing up years. He has lived Scripture like:
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For you are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
and
"Tho He slay me, yet will I trust Him.
Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.
He also shall be my salvation."
and
"You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You."
I have spoken several times how my father wants to continue in his "Kingdom work" here on earth for another 10 years. But even if God chooses to deny this request, his "Kingdom work" will continue through us! My father has created a legacy through his children and grandchildren, and we pray we carry on his "Kingdom work" even after the Father takes him home. I know the Lord has given me an example through my earthly father, and I pray I can carry his name and legacy to those around me, especially to my children. For I am proud of who I am and where I came from.
I pray my father has touched you as he has touched me. May the Lord be glorified forever and ever because of my father's "legacy".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
